Hoon Juice

Blended Malt Scotch Whisky
500ml
46% abv.

£50

Sale Sold out

Taxes included.

Product of Scotland — independently bottled
Free UK delivery — no minimum spend
Arrives gift-ready — no receipt in package

Introducing Hoon Juice – a one-off, never-to-be-repeated custom blended malt Scotch whisky inspired by the foul-mouthed ex-cop and full-time violent headcase, Robert Hoon, from the pages of JD Kirk’s bestselling thriller series.

Lovingly crafted in Scotland, this limited edition whisky isn’t just a drink – it’s a middle finger in a bottle. With a copper foil label featuring a message straight from Hoon himself, every detail is soaked in attitude.

Order now and you’ll get:

A 500ml bottle of Hoon Juice limited edition custom blended malt Scotch whisky.
A letter from Bob Hoon, complete with his brutally honest (and foul-mouthed) tasting notes.
Two bar-ready beermat-style coasters printed with some of Hoon's most savage one-liners.
A custom hessian bag featuring a whisky-related quote from Bob's first solo book, NORTHWIND.

This isn’t just Scotch. It’s Hoon Juice. And, with a strictly limited run of only 1000 bottles being produced, when it’s gone, it’s gone.

Please note - Hoon Juice will not grant you Bob's near-indestructibility, or empower you to take on an international criminal cartel more or less single-handedly. (Although it might make you feel like you can.)

Tasting Notes

Bob disnae dae tasting notes.

How to enjoy it

Neat, first. Pour a measure and give it a minute — a good Scotch says most of what it has to say before you add anything.

Then a drop of water. Still, room-temperature water opens up the nose and softens the spirit. Add it slowly; you can't take it back out.

A good glass helps. Something tulip-shaped draws the aromas towards you — a tumbler looks the part but lets them drift off.

Storing it. Upright, out of direct sun, cap tight. It won't age in the bottle the way wine does, but it's not frozen in time either — a fresh blend can take a little while to marry, and a half-finished bottle will drift a touch over the months. Nothing to fuss over.

Delivery & returns

Free UK delivery on every bottle, no minimum spend. Orders outside the UK show shipping at checkout — duty and taxes to the USA are included in that cost.

Dispatched within 48 hours. Each bottle is blended and labelled to order, so occasionally it takes a little longer — we'll always get it moving as fast as we can. Someone of legal drinking age must be able to receive it.

Returns: unopened ready-made bottles can be returned within 30 days. Personalised and custom-blended bottles are made to your order, so they can't be returned unless there's a fault. If anything arrives damaged or wrong, email info@whiskyblender.com straight away and we'll put it right.

Part of the Collaborations collection

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Hoon Juice

£50

Sale Sold out

5 stars: 7 (100%)
4 stars: 0 (0%)
3 stars: 0 (0%)
2 stars: 0 (0%)
1 star: 0 (0%)

Bought as a gift for a massive JD Kirk fan. Was really well received but they haven't opened it yet as far as I'm aware.

So happy with our Hoon Juice, fantastic accompianing letter too

Bought as a gift for my sons. Not opened yet but they were thrilled. They adore the characters in the books

Product safely arrived. Wonderful packaging. The Hoon letter was a laugh out loud 😁 funny.ordered 2 bottles and were very pleased with the look of the bottle and extras included. Thanks

Not a whisky fan notmally but really liked this. The bottle and pouch are so fun as is the notes and recipe included. Fans will get a real kick out of the whole thing. Well worth the money